Push and Pull

On September 5, 2012, in Biracial, by Honeysmoke

push and pull

Simone and Nadia are entangled in a strange phase. They are either worried that we’re going to leave them or they are pushing us away.

“Mommy, where are you?” (Why we would leave them remains a mystery.)

Five minutes later:

“You can leave now.”

I’m calling it the I-love-you-but-can-live-without-you-for-just-a-moment phase.

I’ve noticed the same thing with communication. There are moments when they want to tell us about every waking moment at school. “I went to class, put away my backpack, sat in my chair, hugged my friend, said good morning to my teacher.” And there are clearly the days when no one wants to share anything. I’ll peer at them, and they will have this look on their faces. It’s a cross between I like you but you’re one of them.

We’re already losing our cool factor. In fact, if one of them knows some information about the other and tries to share it with us, the other quickly hushes her sister. Don’t share information with the adults is clearly the M.O.  I suspect this is because teachers are adults and teachers and parents look alike. I don’t know whether I should be tickled or horrified. I’m playing it cool for now. I suspect a lot of parents are simply playing it cool — at least in front of the kids.

I thought these days would be way in our future, but I guess it’s the ebb and flow of parenting. We’ll keep doing what we’re doing. You know, we’ll keep taking them everywhere they need to go, cooking all of their meals, keeping them safe, while they figure out whether they want us near or far.

 

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