Looking Back, Moving Forward

On December 31, 2012, in Biracial, by Honeysmoke

When I lost focus as a child, my mother provided a reminder.

“Take care of Monique,” she told me. “Worry about Monique.”

It was sound advice then and it is sound advice now. I didn’t always appreciate it. Mom provided reminders when I wanted to focus on what someone else was doing or something someone else had. I didn’t want to focus on me when I could have something over there or do something new. Eventually, I decided Mom was right and took care of me. It worked for a long time, until little by little, for reasons known and unknown, I stopped heeding her advice.

The result: I’ve been chasing goals instead of taking care of me.

There was a time when I really did focus on what was important, and I thrived.  It sounds selfish, but it’s not. Everyone around me does not require my attention. Everything that happens around me does not require my energy. I must reserve some of that attention and energy for me.

2012 marked the 10th anniversary of Mom’s passing. It’s been 10 years since we’ve talked, argued, or laughed together, and I am amazed by how much of her is still with me.

In 2013, I will  do the work I need to do, and the rest will fall into place. That’s called patience. I will believe everything will work out in the end, and it will. That’s called faith. I will focus on what’s truly important, and life will be less chaotic. That’s called balance, and I’m looking forward to it.

So long, 2012. Bring it, 2013.

 
  • Laura Majersky

    Oooh, you just got me with this one. I had been thinking for a while that I used to say something like “I know it will all be ok.” I haven’t felt that way for years. I kept trying to figure out where I got so jaded, so doomsday. I am not religious so the ‘it will be ok’ was more of I/we/life will be fine and I feel like I am resourceful enough to figure it out.

    Reading this post got me thinking maybe I need to refocus on myself. Great quotes, great post. Thanks for the reminder and eyeopener! :)