HONEYSMOKE

The rules of play were simple. Stay on my street. Come home in time for dinner. Don’t go in anyone’s house without Mom’s permission. It was easy. I played and had a wonderful time. I have the scars on my knees to prove it.

Simone and Nadia can’t do that. They don’t play in the yard or knock on a neighbor’s door and ask if the children inside can come out to play. It’s a different time.

The other night while driving home, I found myself all stressed out about what to do with the girls on the weekend. We have a series of activities we participate in as a family. Simone, though, has started asking to go to friend’s home or to have someone come over to our house.  I feel more comfortable with someone coming to our house. Besides, whether it’s two girls or four girls or six girls, it’s all the same giggle fest to me. I understand the girls want to play with folks other than Mommy and Daddy, so I sent notes inviting two little girls to play at our house. We haven’t heard anything yet.

As I drove home, some of those anxious childhood feelings surfaced. Will the parents call? Will the parents feel comfortable coming to our home? Will the children have fun? I cannot turn back the clock to my childhood, a time when children played until dinnertime. I know I shouldn’t worry about these things. They always work out. All I can do is look over my shoulder at a time when parents didn’t have to do this, when we didn’t have to schedule play dates.

It is difficult to tell why there are so many more multiracial resources available to parents and children these days. Whatever the reason, I am thankful they are available so that parents like me can use them as tools. I am always looking for resources and I’ve come across three I would like to share with all of you.

www.mixedkids.com – It’s a site developed to promote a book by Kip Fulbeck, author of the best-selling book, Part Asian, 100% Hapa. His latest offering is Mixed: Portraits of Multiracial Kids. It is a collection of portraits, handwritten statements and essays. There is a video of the author and his project on the site. The book is scheduled to be released March 31, and I will be looking for it in bookstores.

www.amyhodgepodge.com – Amy Hodgepodge is a multiracial character in a book series by the same name. Amy Hodgepodge is African-American, Asian and Caucasian. The books are designed for young readers and are written by Kim Wayans (Yes, those Wayans) and Kevin Knotts. The husband-wife team were inspired by their nieces and nephews, many of whom are mixed race. I brought two of the books home, and Simone and Nadia were immediately interested. I’ll put these on the shelf, until they are a little older.

Hyphen magazine — It is a “nonprofit news and culture print magazine that illuminates Asian America through hard-hitting investigative features on the cultural and political trends shaping the fastest-growing ethnic population in the country.” Hyphen launched in 2003 and is published three times a year. Of course, there is a blog for those who crave daily information.

I am adding all three to the blog roll. Got more multiracial resources? Send them to honeysmoke at honeysmoke dot com or leave a link in the comment section.

Danzy Senna asked a Northwestern University audience to stand if a series of questions applied to them.

Are you multiracial? Are your parents of two ethnicities? Two religions? Are any family members a different race from you? Are your children a different race? Have you ever passed as something, intentionally or otherwise, that you are not? When she was finished most of the audience was on its feet. They had turned out to hear the novelist say America has not moved past issues of privilege, race and class. Check it out.

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I’ve been listening to The Last Lecture. I expected words of wisdom. I didn’t expect words of wisdom about parenting. Author Randy Pausch, the father of three young children, gave the lecture after he was diagnosed with cancer. The lessons found throughout the book focus on what it means to fulfill childhood dreams and how he made his come true.

Though cancer cut his life short, Pausch did more than some who live longer than he did. He kept his head up, had fun, fought for who and what he believed in. He also made sure those close to him knew how much he loved them.

My mind drifted as I listened to the book. I thought about my own dreams. I want to travel more, show my children the world we live in and write books. I also thought about Simone and Nadia. What do I want for them? Happiness, health. Mostly, I want what they want. If something happened to me today, what would they remember? I would hope they remember how much I love them. What would I like for them to remember? My mannerisms, my strong work ethic, how and why I do the things I do.

The Last Lecture makes readers and listeners think about their own lives as the author evaluates his life. I can’t say I bargained for all of that when I brought the audio book home from the library, but life is like that. So, if you will excuse me, I have a lot of work to do and dreams to fulfill.

In my haste to get out of the door and do as many things for the girls, I mixed up the lunches. Again. This lead to confusion at preschool. Teachers switched the lunches, but this happened after Nadia had seen her lunch. So, there were two unhappy children. As a result, a note was sent home. Oh, my. My only solution is to have a backup peanut butter and jelly sandwich at school for Simone, should I make the mistake again. I would like to say I was just trying to do as much as possible before leaving for a conference. Somehow I don’t think that helps the matter.

Why are you going this way?

Nadia, our resident backseat driver.

Precious star Paula Patton, who has a black parent and a white parent, told Women’s Health she is offended by the term biracial. I am stunned by her comment. I understand she was raised at a different time, but I don’t think there is anything offensive about the term. In my mind, it is a more precise way of talking about race.

Here is the quote:  “I find [the term biracial] offensive. It’s a way for people to separate themselves from African-Americans….a way of saying ‘I’m better than that,’” says Paula, who is expecting her first son with crooner hubby Robin Thicke this spring. “I’m black because that’s the way the world sees me. People aren’t calling Barack Obama biracial. Most people think there’s a black president….People judged me because I was light-skinned. [They'd assume] I didn’t want to be part of the black race,” she says.

What do you say?

The upcoming U.S. Census is generating a lot of buzz about race. USA Today shows why it is important for some to check more than one box. Check it out.

I hope Simone and Nadia don’t mind me sharing my love with other children. I had the pleasure recently of playing house, flipping coins and playing Duck, Duck, Goose with a delightful 3-year-old. I should say that Duck, Duck, Goose is a lot tougher to play these days. Big kids like me can get a little winded chasing little kids in circles. Alas, I tried to put my own issues aside, because this little girl is a new big sister. I stole a few moments to meet the girls and their mother while away from Simone and Nadia. I brought a few onsies, with matching headbands, for the baby, and I delivered a doll for Big Sister.

Big Sister and I had a lot of fun. She asked me to read two books I sent a few weeks ago, and I gave an animated performance. We played a game that requires each player to move a princess shoe around a board, collecting jewelry. The game ends when one lucky princess collects a ring, bracelet, necklace, earrings and a crown. Big Sister and I giggled and talked, while her Mommy tended to Little Sister. I think she has a new classmate at preschool. She reminded me so much of Simone and Nadia, and I gave her big hugs. When it came time for me to leave, she cried. I really wanted to stay and play with her a little more. I couldn’t stay, so I asked for a kiss. She buried her head. “What if I give you a kiss?”  She held her head a little lower. I gave her a few air kisses and said good-bye, promising to return with some playmates next time. I happen to know two little girls who will gladly read books, play with coins and play Duck, Duck, Goose forever.