Calling Mary J. Blige

discs

I have always been on a tight budget and don’t buy much music. I have a tiny collection, mostly gifts from friends and relatives, and it includes three discs by Hip Hop diva Mary J. Blige.

Mary and I go way back. Ever since she released What’s the 411? in 1992, her music has been a staple in my life. When I play her CDs, I pop my fingers and sometimes point. I didn’t notice I was doing this, until one day when Mary came on the radio. That’s when I saw Simone try to pop her fingers and point, too. I was pleased she liked Mommy’s music, and I regularly put Mary J. Blige into the CD player. I would pop my fingers and point, pretending to dance, and so would Simone.

Simone liked Mary J. Blige so much she started to request her CD. At first, I thought she was saying “my garage,” but I finally figured out what she was trying to say. I thought, That’s cute. She loves Mary J. Blige. Children like repetition, and soon Simone only wanted to listen to Mary J. Blige. By that time, the CD was no longer on the charts and I was tired of only listening to one artist’s CD during our daily drives. Simone would request it; I would decline. She would start to cry; I would relent.

Then I had an idea to use one of my other Mary J. Blige CDs. Simone is a fan, and there was peace in the back seat while Mary sang. But again, I tired of the songs and wanted a little variety. I managed to tune the radio to an old school R&B station, and as long as no one talks, I can usually get us home without having to play Mary.

Recently, though, I made the mistake of putting the third and final Mary J. Blige CD in the player. As soon as I realized what I had done, I hit the FM button on the player. It was too late. Simone had recognized the artist and demanded I start her back up again. I did, and we sang and danced all the way home. Simone calls that CD the new Mary J. Blige, but it’s really old Mary J. Blige, her very first CD.

So, I’m out of CDs because I’m still on a tight budget. Mary, if you’re listening, you may want to release a children’s album because you have at least one 4-year-old fan. If you do, please understand that some of your older fans may turn on you.

  • I’ll send you back to Alabama with the Mary J. Live joint. It’s hawt.

Site Footer