Do you have a parenting philosophy?
As for me, my parenting philosophy — if that’s what you want to call it — is in a constant state of change. I try something, see that it doesn’t work and come up with something new. Mostly I try to stay out of the way and let Simone and Nadia develop and become the people they are supposed to become. I attempt to let Simone and Nadia grow, allow them to make mistakes, encourage them, teach them discipline, keep them safe and a whole host of other things.
The truth is, I’ve been relying on what my parents did. I find myself saying phrases I used to hear all the time. You know, the things I said I would never say.
A few examples: “I am only going to say this once.”
“Don’t make me come back there.”
“Are you listening to me?”
So, what do you say? What’s your parenting philosophy?
I usually wash my hair every other day. Last week, I washed it once. What a difference a change in routine makes.
After I met Teri LaFlesh, I washed my hair like usual and combed through a conditioner. Then I followed her advice. I sectioned my hair, smoothed each of my curls and let the curls set. It took about 45 minutes. At night I twisted my hair and covered it. (Teri suggested I braid my hair at night, but I didn’t like what that did to my curls. Twisting my hair seems to be just as effective and doesn’t smoosh my curls.) In the morning, I took a little conditioner and water and smooth it over my curls. I followed the routine for five days, and it was the first time I’ve ever gotten multi-day hair from one wash and condition.
This means I can use up all of those expensive conditioners and gels and never purchase them again. This means I can buy everything I need for my hair on the ground and avoid exorbitant shipping and handling fees. This means my bathroom counter will no longer be littered with bottles and jars of conditioner and gel in every size and shape.
I like Teri’s method for several reasons. First, she uses it herself. Second, her method doesn’t require five products that cost $20 apiece. All of the shampoos and conditioners she uses can be found at local stores. Third, she provides much of the information found in her book on her web site, Tightlycurly.com. Fourth, and most importantly, I can use it on Simone and Nadia’s hair.
I once had a simple routine. When I found online hair sites, I became a product junkie. No more. This method works for me and I am sticking to it. It reminds me of when I was a little girl and Mom did my hair. The routine was so simple. Mom washed my hair every two weeks and greased my scalp with Vaseline. She kept my hair braided or twisted most of the time. My hair flourished. Simple really is better. Thanks, Teri.
Honeysmoke will celebrate its first anniversary in July. Folks used to be modest about their accomplishments. But that was before the World Wide Web. It is with that in mind that I ask for your vote in four 2010 Black Weblog Categories:
Best Parenting or Family Blog
Best Writing in a Blog
Best Personal Blog
Blog to Watch
All you have to do is click on the button in this post or in the the top right-hand corner of Honeysmoke.
Now for some tiny print: The Black Weblog Awards was founded in 2005 to give recognition to Black bloggers (and those of the African diaspora) which were largely overlooked by other Internet award events. The Black Weblog Awards is an international showcase with participants from over 90 countries and stands out as the most widespread Internet award event for Black bloggers. To date, the Black Weblog Awards has recognized nearly 180 blogs in over 30 categories, and has also been featured in several mainstream and online media outlets, including NPR. Winners of the Black Weblog Awards have also gone on to appear in other media outlets, like MSNBC, the Huffington Post, BET, the Washington Post, and many others. For more information, visitblackweblogawards.com
Head over to Beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com and enter for your chance to win Blended Beauty products for children. Oh, and be sure to tell them Honeysmoke sent you.
We’re not sure whether we should be filled with pride or cower in fear. On our way to a Father’s Day breakfast, we and the girls had a huge disagreement. They wanted to get their Leapsters from my car, but Dad made an executive decision and drove off without them. We didn’t get out of the subdivision before the wailing began. We made it another half mile and turned around, calling off breakfast. The girls were angry, and we were disappointed and hungry.
Once inside, Simone demanded a piece of paper and a crayon. Without any help, she wrote “No Dads” on the sheet and asked for a piece of tape, which I gave to her. She posted the note on her bedroom door. Ken said the girls should apologize to me for their behavior, and they both obliged. Later I took them aside and said they should apologize to their Dad. Simone protested. I pushed, and she got another piece of paper and wrote “No Moms.”
Now that I think about it, this story sounds awfully similar to “Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type.”
As I write this, both signs are hanging on the door. We are proud that our daughter can write all of her letters and spell three words without any help from us. At the same time, we don’t know what to think of the fact that she thinks our household is a democracy. It is even a bit terrifying that we may be raising a writer. Given the recent implosion of the publishing industry, we aren’t so sure we like where this is going.
There is good news. The girls and I treated Ken to a Father’s Day meal around lunchtime.
If you’ve ever wanted to know what happens when mom is away, here is look from behind the scenes.
We went to the pet store to buy some dog food with salmon for Ringo and Big Al. Simone was very curious about what “plus” means and wanted me to define the word.?Nadia went straight for the fish tank and yelled out “Daddy, I found Nemo!” when she got to the clownfish tank.?They were having an adoption day so there were lots of dogs there, including a black lab named Coffee that gave Simone a kiss.?Then we went to the book store for story time. The book was “The Kissing Hand” and Simone remembered that she had heard that story at the Big Kid School. They got construction paper and chalk to outline their hands and draw a heart in the middle so they would have their very own kissing hand. Nadia insisted that she could cut it out with scissors on her own and then got frustrated when she couldn’t. Daddy had to assume scissor duties. Simone had pink construction paper and made a point of telling the storytime lady, “Excuse me, Candace, my sister’s favorite color is purple so she needs a purple piece of paper.” Story time lady acquiesced.?There are 13 Mo Willems books with Elephant and Piggie. He also has a series about a city dog and a country frog.?Simone and Nadia played with the trains and took a detour to the coffee shop, where they were stunned in amazement that they had cheesecake for sale.?We went to a restaurant and they were beating the “We want baked Cheetos” drum loudly and often. They ate rolls, too.?Then we went home to rest up and I took them to work.?I gave them copies of pictures (they were amazed by the copier machine and wanted me to keep making copy after copy). They sat at our meeting table and obeyed my request that they whisper whenever they talked. They drew cats on notebook paper and then taped their artwork to my cubicle.?They enjoyed getting cups of water from the drinking fountain, which resulted in several trips to the women’s room.?Then they decided to race each other in the back hallway.?As we were leaving, Simone read several headlines on the front page. Everyone was amazed that she sounded out the word “Campaign” without any extra help.?When we got home, Simone was so tired that I had to carry her out of the car.
