At some point, we all form pictures of what things look like or what we think they should look like. Mothering is one of those things. In many pictures, the child has some traits of her mother and looks like her. More and more, mothers and daughters don’t look alike.
And it doesn’t matter. Nowhere is it written that we should look like the people who raise us. The only prerequisite is love, and we all know love has no color.
A friend told me about a new memoir, On the Outskirts of Normal: Forging a Family Against the Grain. I read this wonderful essay by author Debra Monroe in the Dallas Morning News, and I am putting the book on my reading list. It’s a reminder that motherhood doesn’t always look like the pictures we form in our minds.
[dropcap2]I[/dropcap2]n this week’s report, a 10-year-old opera singer, hearing loss among teens and how to keep germs at bay. Enjoy!
Good Kid: Meet Jackie Evancho, the 10-year-old opera singer. Source: Stars2come.com
Parenting: Parent or friend? You decide. Source: CBS News
News: One in 5 teens has a slight hearing loss. Source: Los Angeles Times
Health: 20 tips for a germ-free school year. Source: National Geographic Kids
Kid Cooking: Cooking with Miranda. Source: Dogonews
Kindergarten has been good to Nadia.
With Simone riding the bus to school, Nadia has the backseat all to herself. She has decided to take on the reporting role vacated by her big sister. We call it the Nadia News Network, where no news will be reported before its time. That’s how Ken learned “Mommy made a mistake” and picked up Nadia first the other day.
Nadia has ditched her Leapster. Instead she chats about the school buses, trucks and the weather. We are tickled to see this side of her but know it’s only a matter of time before she joins her sister at the Big Kid School.
Simone didn’t bother to say good-bye on the first day of school, and I knew she would be fine. But what about me? Kindergarten comes with a huge learning curve for parents. The low lights:
The Shakedown — Public school isn’t free. Still, I didn’t expect a shake down before school started. At an open house, we were bombarded by requests for lunch money, PTA dues, extended day fees, karate lessons, piano lessons, a classroom donation and a school donation. It was a bit too much for me. Can I get to know the school before I send my kid and all my money to it?
Transportation: I hadn’t decided how Simone would get home from school. Would she ride the bus? Would we pick her up? Would she attend the extended day program? I had a lot of questions that weren’t answered in the weeks leading up to the beginning of school. I suspect teachers and office workers knew I was new to the system because I looked confused.
Grumpy Kid: Kindergarten is hard work. Simone almost fell asleep in the car on the way home. When she wasn’t nodding off, she was cranky and needy and clingy. One day she threw herself on the couch and stared into the distance. On another day, she repeatedly asked to go to the park. There were tears, a lot of tears.
The Car Line: Those run like clockwork, right? Not exactly. I braved the car line on the second day and was in it for 30 minutes. I asked Simone’s teacher whether the line was that slow all of the time. Pretty much, she said. The car line also comes with a lot of policies and procedures. Pick up kids in these grades in this line; pick up students in these grades in that line. Put this on your visor. Children must sit on the right side of the car. Um, no. I will avoid the car line at all costs.
Riding the Bus: Simone asked to ride the bus, and we let her ride in the mornings. The first time she rode the bus she hopped on so quickly I didn’t have time to take a picture. Parents don’t like bus rides, but kids have no problem with them. Simone is on the bus for about five minutes and already has a bus friend.
As for me, I’m still adjusting.
What does Nadia think about kindergarten? Find out tomorrow. (Last installment.)
I am here to tell you children grow up too fast. One day you bring them home from the hospital and the next you drop them off at kindergarten. I promise it happened that way. At least that’s how it felt.
In the months leading up to the big day, I filled out paperwork, bought school supplies and talked about the transition from preschool to the Big Kid School. We met Simone’s teacher and shopped for back-to-school clothes as the first day inched closer and closer. Mostly, I worried. I still worry. Will she like school? Will she like her teacher? Will she continue to learn at lightning speed?
Ken and I packed the whole family into the car on the first day. We made the short trek to school and dropped off one of our most precious packages. Simone wore a nervous smile, a new dress and shoes. She said good morning to her teacher, put her backpack in her cubby and hugged Nadia.
There was no hug or kiss for Ken and me. Simone joined the other children on the rug. I said good-bye; she didn’t hear me. She was too busy taking in her new surroundings. Simone had no problem going to school. As we walked back to the car, I knew Simone would be fine.
But what about me? Find out tomorrow.
[fancy_box]Be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Gandhi[/fancy_box]
I am going to keep Gandhi’s words in mind as I process Dr. Laura’s N-word rant. She argued that black comedians use the word on HBO and some black people use it as a term of endearment. What she failed to realize is that comedians use words for effect and that each and every one of us is responsible for what we say. We can’t cast aside our responsibility because someone else is doing or saying something we know is wrong.
There are various strategies for dealing with the N-word. Some try to steal its power and embrace it, while others want to ban it. I prefer a different approach. I don’t use it. I’ll teach Simone and Nadia to do the same. I’ll be the change I want to see in the world. How about you?
