Mixed Portrait

First, let me just say how much I love the Shotgun Daddy blog. How about that title? Then there is the subtitle: “Because someday there will be a boy who will want to date my daughter.”

Ken and I understand. The matter of shotguns has been an ongoing joke in our home since Simone was born. Folks would compliment us on her beauty and then turn to Ken and tell him he had better get a shotgun. There also have been jokes about putting bars on the windows, locking the girls inside our home and never ever letting them date. I don’t know what happens to men when they have daughters. Many of them turn on their male counterparts. It has been interesting watching this phenomenon unfold in our home. I have warned Ken on more than one occasion that the girls figured him out a long time ago.

At any rate, Shotgun Daddy’s daughter is featured in a book by Kip Fulbeck. What follows is a wonderful surprise his daughter will remember for the rest of her life.

By Shotgun Daddy

© Shotgun Daddy

Last Sunday we drove into Little Tokyo to visit the Japanese American National Museum and view the museum’s newest exhibit, a collection of photographs based on Kip Fulbeck’s new photo book, Mixed. (Here’s what I wrote last week about the book.)

We knew that only a small number of the photos in the book would be included in the museum show, but I had been exchanging emails with Kip’s assistant, and she had casually mentioned that she thought we would be excited with the exhibit.  We took this to mean that Alison’s photo had made the cut, so we arranged a trip to the museum with Alison’s grandmother; her great aunt; and her aunt, uncle, and cousin visiting from Colorado.  Along with our own five-person family, we formed nine-person entourage for Alison as we walked into the museum.

And here’s where things got crazy.  Alison’s photograph was not technically in the exhibit; it was at the entrance of the show, the first face that visitors see as they walk in.  Alison stood in front of her larger-than-life photograph, smiling proudly — but she wasn’t nearly as proud as I was.

  • Maritza

    Thank you so much for sharing. I am always looking for books that feature biracial children.

  • I love this. I will have to check out his blog.

  • Blanc2

    My daughter is smart, independent and perceptive. She knows her own heart and is not afraid to stand up for herself. She is wise beyond her years. I do trust her to make good choices.

    At the same time, I have found that being an actual father of an actual daughter has opened my eyes to the reality that there are hard-wired biological imperatives that drive parents and children. This might sound un-PC and un-progressive, and before I was a parent I would have scorned anybody who uttered this. But it’s absolutely true. Mothers and fathers relate to their children differently, the differences are biological and programmed by gender, and this is why it is essential for children to be raised by a pair of parents, one of each gender.

    Similarly with children and their personalities. Now that I’m a parent, I realize that nature is much more profound than nurture. Prior to being a parent I would have dismissed that as a bunch of nonsense, but it’s true. From the moment they are born, children’s basic character is pretty much cemented in place. As parents we can help them to realize their potential, but that’s all we can do.

  • Rania

    That was such a WONDERFUL story! I must say every time I come here I am just moved. I am going to check out both the artist as well as bookmark the “Shotgun Daddy” site.

    You really inspire me to get in gear and do more with my own stuff. 🙂 Thanks for the kick in the rear. hahah

  • Ernessa from 32 Candles

    For once I disagree with you. I absolutely HATE when people insinuate that they’ll need a shotgun to keep boys away from their daughters or that we should lock them in the house. It insinuated that girls have no agency and worse, no sense to make good decisions. Also, people never say this about handsome boys. The fact is that if both boys and girls are given good information then they are more equipped to make better decisions. If I had a boy and a girl I would be fearful of either if them having sex too early, yet the shotgun thing only applies to girls. I don’t find this cute, only indicative of a larger problem that we as a nation tend to want to protect our girls and and treat boys like enemy horndogs as opposed to giving them the information they need to make good decisions. I find this lazy and ridiculous.

    • I hear you, Ernessa. We will definitely educate our daughters and teach them how to make good decisions.

  • Blanc2

    The relationship between a father and a daughter is a love affair. No other way to describe it. However, it is probably the only chaste love affair that will be available to the daughter in her lifetime.

    We daddies know first hand the depths of depraved fantasies and schemes boys will direct toward our daughters, especially if they are considered physically attractive. We see our job as guarding the gates until a boy comes along who proves to us he can love her as much as we love her — that he would throw down his life and die to save hers. I for one am not going to let a bunch of punk ass losers come around and play my daughter, though frankly I don’t worry too much about her because she’s smart, perceptive, fierce, strong and she knows her own heart.

    • @Blanc2 — Thanks for the chuckle. You also gave me an idea. Stay tuned.

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