Q: Hello, I live in Alabama. I am raising my biracial nephew. We are basically white of Indian origin. My son (yes, I do feel that way) is 7 years old. He is a wonderful bright spot in many lives. We have found that there are so many biracial people and interracial couples now that no one really notices except the older white crowd. I worry that he will never find acceptance or understanding within the black community. He is around mostly Hispanics and whites with very few black children. Most of those he is around are also biracial. How can I educate him about his own history and culture? I want him to be a well
rounded person but he needs to know about both sides. A lot of African-American music that is popular today depicts violence and a lifestyle we are not accepting of (black or white). What to do?
A: Bless you for taking care of your nephew. Love may not solve every problem, but it goes a long way toward helping find answers. Your note lets me know you and your nephew are and will continue to be fine. The factors or people who help shape all of us are: family, school, teachers, friends, religion, race, gender, geography and the media.
Expose your nephew to black culture in a way that doesn’t seem condescending, piecemeal or inconsistent. One way to do that is to become part of the black community in your area. Build your own village, a group of people you trust to help you influence your nephew.
Build the village with the help of your family, school, teachers and friends. At the same time, be mindful of race, gender and geography as you choose people to help you raise your nephew.
Monitor media. All of it isn’t bad, and keeping children away from media altogether isn’t fair. We opt for what’s age appropriate for Simone and Nadia. We monitor everything they do, and they do not have a television or computer in their room.
Tell your story to as many people who will listen and ask for help. Sometimes you just have to ask. To the outside world, everything may look fine. Ask for help and see who steps forward to help.
Find a mentor for you and your nephew. Parents are a resourceful bunch, and your nephew will appreciate having someone else to talk to other than his “Dad.”
Read to and with him. Books are wonderful learning tools and icebreakers. Click on the bookshelf tab on my site for a short list of our favorites. Visit leeandlow.com and candlewick.com for exceptional books about the black experience.
Tap into resources. Take a look at the list of the blog links on the right or click on the resources tab at the top of my site. Send an email to honeysmoke (at) honeysmoke (dot) com with your snail mail address. I’ve got a copy of MAVIN’s Multiracial Child Resource Book that I’d be happy to send to you.
Have fun. Children don’t always know they are learning when you take them to a festival or church or some other social gathering. Enjoy yourself and enjoy your nephew.
I hope this helps. Keep in touch. Tell me how you’re doing from time to time.
Honeysmoke readers, I am not an expert. I don’t even play one on TV. Chime in with your thoughts.
A parent is a child’s very first teacher. That’s why one student turned in a much different assignment than his teacher requested. Enjoy!
(L to R) Rosario Dawson (“Lili”) and Tracee Ellis Ross (“Alyssa”) star in the new Lifetime Original Movie Five, premiering Monday, October 10, at 9:00pm ET/PT on Lifetime Television. Photo Credit: Suzanne Tenner© 2011Lifetime Entertainment Services, LLC, All Rights Reserved.
Lifetime’s Original Movie Five begins with Pearl, a young girl whose mother dies of breast cancer. That little girl decides to become an oncologist, helping women wage their own battles. Then Pearl finds herself in the very same predicament.
As a child, Pearl learned what was happening to her mother from an older cousin. She calls it “bread cancer.” When Pearl learns her diagnosis, she shares it with her young daughter. This point in the movie resonated with me. We have to teach our girls about breast cancer. When we do, we help break the cycle of fear.
The film illustrates how breast cancer affects women during different stages of diagnosis. Through laughter and tears, the stories show how “Charlotte” (Ginnifer Goodwin), “Mia” (Patricia Clarkson), “Lili” (Rosario Dawson), “Cheyanne” (Lyndsy Fonseca) and “Pearl” (Jeanne Tripplehorn).
Five is an anthology of five short films exploring the impact of breast cancer on people’s lives. The films are directed by Jennifer Aniston, Alicia Keys, Demi Moore, Patty Jenkins (The Killing) and Penelope Spheeris (Wayne’s World), and premiere Monday, October 10, at 9PM ET/PT. Check it out.
Hey, don’t cry on my dress.
Simone, after Nadia began to cry and lean on her big sister.
Say hello to Lily from Sesame Street. She’s 7 and “food insecure.”
The USDA estimates 17 million children live at or below the poverty level and that their access to food is limited or uncertain. Lily represents them.
The newest Muppet will be featured in a prime-time Sesame Street special “Growing Hope Against Hunger” on Oct. 9 to raise awareness about hunger in America.
I wasn’t sure what to think when I first heard about Lily. Some children don’t know they grew up poor until they are much older, while others are keenly aware of their upbringing as it’s happening. I’ll be watching with Simone and Nadia to see what I think.
How about you? Will you watch?
ETA: I thought it was appearing later than it did, and we missed the special. I’m hoping it will air again and we can catch it then.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry points out some facts we parents of multiracial children already know. Our children “do not differ from other children in self-esteem, comfort with themselves, or number of psychiatric problems. Also, they tend to be high achievers with a strong sense of self and tolerance of diversity.” Check it out.
